Low self-worth is a deep-rooted belief that you're not enough. It's that quiet, persistent voice inside telling you that you’re somehow lacking or flawed. It shows up in self-doubt, constant comparison to others, and seeking approval outside of yourself. You may find yourself putting others' needs ahead of your own, people-pleasing, or trying to earn love and acceptance through perfectionism or overwork. But here’s the truth: your worth is not something to earn; it's something inherent, waiting to be embraced. As Ram Dass would say, “You are already everything you are looking for.” But how do you begin to shift from feeling inadequate to knowing your inherent worth?
1. Untwist Limiting Beliefs
Low self-worth often begins with untrue, self-defeating thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t deserve love,” or “I have to be perfect to be valued.” These thoughts twist reality, keeping us stuck in old patterns. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers a powerful tool to challenge and untwist these limiting beliefs. When you catch a negative thought, pause and ask yourself: Is this thought 100% true? What evidence do I have for or against it?
For example, if you think, “I’m always messing things up,” take a moment to reflect. Is there evidence of times when you’ve done things well? More often than not, you’ll find that these thoughts are distortions of reality. By questioning them, you slowly weaken their hold. As Pema Chödrön reminds us, “You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather.” These thoughts are like clouds—they come and go, but they aren’t who you are.
2. Identify Your Core Values
When you don’t feel worthy, you can get lost in what others want from you. You might make decisions based on pleasing others, rather than aligning with your own values and needs. But true self-worth comes from living in alignment with what’s most important to you. Take time to identify your core values. What brings you joy? What makes you feel alive and connected? Whether it's creativity, authenticity, compassion, or growth—once you identify your values, you can start making choices that honor them.
In the words of Tara Brach, “When we align our actions with our deepest values, we free ourselves to live authentically and fully.” You don’t need external validation when you’re living in alignment with your true self.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
At the heart of low self-worth is often a harsh inner critic. Learning to talk to yourself with true self-compassion is essential. Instead of criticizing yourself for every perceived mistake, treat yourself as you would a dear friend—with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Self-compassion isn’t about excusing mistakes but rather acknowledging your humanity.
Glennon Doyle speaks to this beautifully: “We can stop asking what the world wants from us, and instead ask ourselves what we want from the world.” Start by recognizing that you are enough, just as you are. Practice self-compassion by saying to yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have, and that’s enough.”
When you start untwisting limiting beliefs, aligning with your values, and practicing self-compassion, you begin to reclaim your sense of worth. It’s not about becoming someone else but about realizing that who you are has been enough all along. By reconnecting with your inherent goodness, you step into the world as your authentic, powerful self—no longer seeking approval but knowing your worth from within.