Self-respect is the deep, abiding sense that you are worthy of kindness, respect, and dignity—both from yourself and others.
It’s a relationship with yourself where you honor your needs, values, and boundaries, and take actions that reflect your inherent worth.
Without self-respect, we can find ourselves in situations that feel disempowering or draining, often letting others' desires take priority over our own.
But here’s the thing: just as you can grow self-compassion and confidence, you can cultivate self-respect, too. It’s an ongoing practice of aligning with your truth, protecting your energy, and showing up for yourself.
What Are the Signs of Low Self-Respect?
Low self-respect often shows up in subtle, everyday ways. You might say “yes” when your body screams “no.” You may find yourself overgiving in friendships where your needs are often neglected. It could look like allowing someone to exploit your empathetic listening, consistently being the one who supports but rarely receiving that same care in return. Perhaps you feel ashamed of behaviors that conflict with your core values or participate in unbalanced relationships where the energy exchange isn’t equal.
Some common signs of low self-respect include:
Ignoring your own needs: You prioritize everyone else’s feelings and wants while disregarding your own.
People-pleasing: You fear rejection or conflict, so you go along with what others want, even if it feels wrong or uncomfortable.
Self-betrayal: You agree to things that clash with your values, or you hide your truth out of fear of disapproval.
Allowing exploitation: You let others take advantage of your kindness or empathy, especially in unbalanced relationships.
But low self-respect doesn’t have to be permanent. The good news? You can reclaim your sense of worth and start building self-respect through intentional practices.
3 Ways to Build Self-Respect
1. Untangle Your Thoughts with CBT
One of the most effective ways to grow your self-respect is by using tools from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Start by identifying the limiting beliefs and negative thoughts that keep you stuck in low self-worth patterns. Do you believe you’re unworthy of respect? Do you think others’ needs are more important than your own?
Begin to challenge these thoughts by asking yourself: Is this 100% true? What evidence do I have that contradicts this belief? By untwisting these unhelpful thoughts, you can start to see yourself in a new light—one where your needs, boundaries, and values matter just as much as anyone else's.
With mindfulness, you can begin to see these stories you tell yourself and untangle them, creating space for more self-affirming beliefs.
2. Align with Your Values through Mindfulness
Self-respect thrives when you live in alignment with your values—when your actions reflect what truly matters to you. But to do that, you need to get clear on what those values are. Take time to reflect on what’s most important in your life. Is it honesty? Compassion? Authenticity?
Once you’re clear on your values, use mindfulness practices to check in with yourself regularly. Are you living in a way that honors your truth? If you find yourself in situations where you’re betraying your values—agreeing to something that doesn’t align with who you are—mindfulness can help you pause, reconnect with your inner wisdom, and make choices that support your well-being.
Pema Chödrön reminds us, “We don’t have to believe everything we think.” Mindfulness practices allow you to step back from the automatic responses that lead to self-betrayal and instead make conscious, value-driven choices.
3. Practice Somatic Awareness and Self-Compassion
Low self-respect often shows up not just in the mind but in the body. You might feel tense, anxious, or disconnected when you’re not honoring yourself. Somatic therapy can help you reconnect with your body’s wisdom—your gut feelings, the sensations that tell you when something feels off or out of alignment.
By tuning in to your body through practices like breathwork, grounding, or therapeutic yoga, you can start to recognize the signals that guide you toward or away from self-respecting actions. When you feel tension in your chest or a sinking feeling in your stomach, it might be a sign that something isn’t right—that you’re crossing a boundary or saying “yes” when you mean “no.”
And while you practice these changes, bring self-compassion into the mix. Change is challenging, and there will be moments when you fall back into old patterns. In those moments, instead of beating yourself up, offer yourself kindness and understanding. Recognize that growing your self-respect is a process, not a destination.
Building self-respect is about showing up for yourself—day by day, choice by choice. It’s about untangling the beliefs that no longer serve you, aligning with your values, and listening to your body’s wisdom. The more you respect yourself, the more you’ll notice a shift in your relationships, your decisions, and your overall well-being. You deserve to live a life that honors your truth, where your needs and values are as important as anyone else’s.
So listen to yourself—your thoughts, your values, your body—and let that guide you toward a life of true self-respect.