Compassionate Communication

It can be challenging to bring up our concerns or needs with others. It can be hard to figure out why we’re set off and or what to do about it.

Developing skills to understand your feelings and needs, and express yourself with others —effectively and with ease — is a gift you can give yourself. It’s empowering.

What is Compassionate Communication (CC) ? 

Compassionate Communication or Nonviolent Communication (NVC) was developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s. It promotes greater self-awareness of your own feelings and needs, as well as ways to effectively settle conflicts with others. 

Compassionate Communication helps you reframe how you express yourself and enhance connection by focusing on what you're observing, feeling, needing, and what you can request. 

There are 4 components to Compassionate Communication: 

1. OBSERVATION:  “When I see/hear/notice…”

2. FEELING: "I feel... (sad, disappointed, hurt, frustrated, angry, irritated, annoyed) 

 3. NEED: "...because I'm wanting/needing (respect, acceptance, understanding, reassurance, to be heard, to be seen, etc.)

 4. REQUEST :“Would you be willing to …?”

Example: “When I see you scrolling on your phone while I’m speaking about my day at work, I feel sad, frustrated, and a little lonely because I need/value being heard and connected. Would you be willing to put down your phone for a few minutes while we talk about our days?”